The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most

Have you ever gone into a situation sort of dreading it, not really understanding the complete purpose of it, with the attitude of “well, this isn't going to be fun, but let’s just do this and get it over with,” and then realize that the Lord actually ended up using the situation to teach you something really awesome and beautiful? It’s strange how that happens, but pretty great. I think part of it is just the Lord’s sense of humor saying, “Ha, told you so! You DID learn something from that, huh?” Yeah yeah yeah, you’re right again, God—you always are!

Recently I was put into a situation/event where I was surrounded by several non-Christians—I was completely dreading that event, because I knew that their lifestyle was different from mine, their beliefs were different from mine, and as a result, I’d be making some decisions that weren’t like the rest of theirs—you know, the not-so-popular decisions that Jesus told us we may be persecuted for. That’s the part I sort of dreaded. But as I faced those situations, I realized it actually drew me closer to God, because I became more reliant and dependent on him for guidance in the uncomfortable places and situations. It’s those places you fear the most where you can see the light of Christ shine greater than ever, those places where you have to just put it into the Lord's hands and trust He will do His part. It's a little scary at first, but He always does come through, even if it's not always in the way that we were expecting.

"If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you... yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name." 1 Peter 4:14-16

And in thinking about those uncomfortable situations I faced, I started to think about my comfortable life—my comfortable Christian friends, my comfortable little bubble where I’m happy and hunky dory and with a bunch of people who are in it with me together. And trust me, that community is SO important, because we are the body of Christ and united in the goal of pressing on towards the heavenly prize, but sometimes, to share the gospel of Christ, we actually need to go OUTSIDE of that comfort zone. It made me think, “Okay, how am I going outside of my comfort zone in Denver to share the love of Jesus with others?” And so I’ll leave the same question for you— how can you go outside of your comfort zone and share the love of Jesus in places that need it? Who can you be a light to? Let it shine! J

Preparing to Serve... Again and Again!

Here I go again, attempting another blog! I started this blog almost a year ago, and named the blog "Preparing to Serve," with the intention of blogging about how God was preparing me to serve on my missions trip to the Dominican Republic, the journey itself, and processing it thereafter. I was tempted to just go ahead and start a whole new blog page, but I sort of like sticking with the title "Preparing to Serve." After all, my goal in this life is to be serving my Lord Jesus Christ, and he's constantly preparing me for new adventures, teaching me new things, and growing me, so it seems appropriate, right?

So as I start blogging again, I don't have any clear direction of what I'll be writing about, but think I'm just going to write about the day to day happenings of life, the joys that the Lord shows and teaches me, and everything in between. It may be a little bit random, but maybe it's more fun that way anyways, right? :) And so it begins...

Last night, I was driving in my car, stuck in some traffic, processing the day, week, etc. I thought about the conversations throughout the week that I had with friends, co-workers, customers, and strangers, and asked myself how I was representing Christ. Was I being a good ambassador to him?

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us."

-2 Corinthians 5: 17-20

I think sometimes, as children of God, we can get frustrated with ourselves. I know that I do-- I know that I will never be perfect, no matter how hard I try. I know that I will make mistakes, that I will experience failures-- that I'll occasionally get irritated with that co-worker who is interrupting me as I try to work, the long traffic light I have to sit through, the person in the Express Lane at the store who clearly has more than 15 items, etc., and in my car last night, I felt weighted by that thought, knowing that my flesh will continue to fail, that I'll continue to have trouble in this world, but finding joy in the truth that my spirit is made new and I must walk according to that.

"In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart: I have overcome the world." -John 16:33

Almost immediately after thinking through that, two songs came on right after each other, with words that I think the Lord was clearly trying to get across to me (sometimes it takes 2 songs instead of 1 for the Lord to get a point across to me, and sometimes a neon sign, too... good think He knows that! haha).

The first song I listened to was "Safe," by Phil Wickham. Here was the highlight:

"These are the hands that built the mountains
the hands that calm the seas
These are the arms that hold the heavens
they are holding you and me

These are hands that healed the leper
Pulled the lame up to their feet
These are the arms that were nailed to a cross
to break our chains and set us free"

Next song was "Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)" by Chris Tomlin:

"My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace"

I felt an immediate sense of joy as I was reminded of this truth-- we are SET FREE as new creations, but we were bought with the precious blood of Christ. I know that each day there will be challenges and struggles in being an ambassador of Christ, but I find joy in knowing that I am set free in Christ, and when I fall down, I just gotta get back up again and keep walking faithfully according to God's truth, "preparing to serve" Christ in every action, word, and thought.

How are you being an ambassador to Christ today? What are the challenges you face in that? Know that you are SET FREE! :)

Happy 22nd Annie Kathryn!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY my darling little sister!!!!

Just a few fun memories for thought :)

-"She doesn't even LIKE Talbots." (deathstare)

-Annie at age 9 as Erin walks into room: "WHOA! The Tooth Fairy!!"

Erin: "It's just me."

Annie: "UGH, GET OUT!"

(Yes, she still believed in the tooth fairy at age 9...)

-"Mariaaaaa, come over here. NO, you come over HERE!"

-Remember how much you LOVED your clickety shoes?? So cute :)

-"It's going to be really weird when you come home with a boyfriend. I mean, just because you've never come home with one."

-"SIR!"

-Hey, remember when I played basketball with you because you were afraid to go out for the team, and then you ended being the rockstar?? And I sat on the bench. That was really fun.

'

-Random Man: "Excuse me, do you know what day it is?"

Erin: "Yes, it's Friday. (pause) WAIT. NO. It's SATURDAY."

Random Man: (strange look)

-Annie at age 5 to her friend: "Watch this" (starts crying)

Mom: "Erin, go to your room!"

Happy Birthday, Kiddo. Hope you have the best day ever. You are the best sister ever and my best friend. I'm so blessed to have you in my life and thank God for you all the time!! Love you so much and hope your day is amazing.

xoxo.

Fear vs. Love

Hi all! So, I'm sorry I haven't posted much lately-- I've written about 3 posts, and haven't published any, because they just don't seem to be flowing or coming out in the way I'd like them to. So hopefully this one goes a little bit better, because it's something God's really been showing me these last few weeks, and I'm excited to share it.

Fear.

What is fear? How do you define fear? What and who do you fear? Why do you fear? On Facebook I asked people to post and share their biggest fears. Here were a few of the answers:

In addition, but not limited to:

-Heights

-Nosebleeds

-Dolls

We fear these things for many reasons, but one being that we fear what will happen as a result of these things. (i.e. if we are near a snake, we are afraid of what they will do to us, we fear heights because we are afraid of falling and what will happen if we fall)

1 John 4:18 has been a recurring verse to me these last few weeks about fear, and I am so excited to share with you the truth that God has shown me in it:

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love."

What does this mean anyways? No fear in love? huh? Aren't we supposed to fear God? How does that all work itself out, what does that look like?

My pastor put it this way a few weeks ago: When you are a young child, you follow rules out of fear, because you do not know what will happen if you break those rules. You obey your parents because you are afraid of what will happen if you disobey them. However, as you grow, and as you come to know your parents more deeply and understand why they have those rules, you then follow those rules out of love and respect, not out of fear. This translates over to our relationship with God. When we first come to Christ, we are fearful, because we do not yet know who He is. However, as we grow and mature in truth and in understanding of who He is, and what His Word means, we know that perfect love casts out fear. We no longer need to look at God with fear and terror and trembling, but with love, because we know who He is and that we are new creations in Him.

A friend once used the analogy of a butterfly to me. Many of us sometimes think, "I'm a caterpillar now, but when I get to Heaven, I will be perfected and then I'll be a butterfly." You are a new creation, you are a butterfly NOW! Walk in faith and walk accordingly. Walk as a new creation in love and hope and faith and spread your wings now!

So then, how do we grow in our understanding of who God is so that this perfect love casts out our fear of Him? There are so many resources-- there are books, dvds, curriculums, movies, speakers, every possible resource you could imagine. But ultimately, God's Word is the truth! It is everything! It is all that we need. Something else the Lord has really been showing me is how very knowable His Word is. Often times I have thought, oh, if I just had this resource or if I had known this or this, then I would be able to understand the Bible better. God makes His Word available to ALL of us, and we can ALL know it. And by knowing it and understanding it, we can form a better understanding of who God is and walk according to that. Find comfort and joy in knowing that :)

I pray today that you would find comfort in knowing that you ARE a butterfly now, that perfect love DOES cast out fear, and that by knowing and understanding the truth, you can walk in faith with Jesus Christ!!

Blessings to you!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, STEPH!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my #1 Blog Reader (aka probably my only blog reader! Haha)/roomie/bff/partner in crime. I am so blessed to have you in my life and I just hope you have the best day ever, yes, I do!















I have lots of great memories with you... Here are just a few of the fun ones:

-“we could like (shrug) go outside (shrug) and play and stuff (shrug)”
-Caramel brown highlights.
-Awkward hugs.
-Awkward dance moves.
-Awkward ski pictures (See above)
-Using senior skip day to scrapbook.
-”Got any chapstick? My lips hurt real bad.”
-Steph (talking to dog): Hiiiii Annnnieeeee!!
Erin: Um, Steph? That’s my sister’s name. My dog’s name is MANDY.
Steph: oh. Hiiii Mandyyyyyyyy!!!
-”What do you wanna talk about???”
-Harmonizing together is so much fun, even though it is not the right note or on key about 99.9% of the time. Oo oo oooooo.
-starting to sing lyrics together really loudly in the car and realizing we both only know the first 3 words of the chorus.
-”He’s so mysterious, he’s like an onion with a bunch of layers to peel away!”
-”I sorta hope when I get married we have the same relationship as you and I have”
-”That was BEFORE I was saved!”
-Boy that makes Erin nervous: So, do you ski or snowboard?
Erin: I skiboard. Haha, no, I mean I snow. I mean SNOWBOARD.
-Erin: did that nutella just grow?
Steph: um, no, I just bought more.
-”I LOVE the smell of our apartment!”
-BFF Home Edish:
-Erin: Wow, you’re really making headway on those brownies.
Steph: (defensively) No I’m not!!!!!! I packed one for my lunch!!
-Dad?? WHAT Buddy??
-TICKLE FIGHT!!!
-”I only have deep talks once a month, so ask all your questions now.”


Roomie, I love you so much. I’m so blessed that God brought you into my life, that He used you to bring me to Him, and that He brought you out here to Denver. I love each day, each conversation and laugh we share, and love that we get to grow together each day in our relationship with each other and in our walk with the Lord. It’s so amazing to have that fellowship all of the time. Your big heart for friends and family, selfless attitude, and happy go lucky spirit are so encouraging to me and I am a better person for knowing you. Know how much I love you and how amazing you are and I hope you have the bestest day ever because you are the bestest friend ever!!! :) Love you!!

You Are Adored!

My attempt to make a video-- here is a video of the Adored Conference that I went to with another leader and 4 of our jr. high/high school girls. It was an awesome weekend where we were able to talk about what it means to be adored by God and grow in our relationship with Him. God adores you-- for He has fearfully and wonderfully made you!! Hope you like it! :)

May God's Love Overwhelm You Today!!

Oh man. I start this blog post with an overwhelming joy and thankfulness for how BIG God's love is!!

First, I want to update you on my challenge for community. As I have stepped outside the box a little, and tried to make community greater in all aspects of my life, I have seen a great sense of joy and love overcome me, along with some interesting observations. Here is just an excerpt of one of my days:

7:45 am: Grabbed a coffee at Starbucks. As I ordered, the gentleman said "Are you sure you don't want anything else? Like, maybe a sandwich to split with me?" A good way to start off my challenge for community in all places :)

8:00 am: Get on the bus. Before getting on the bus, i noticed about 8 people waiting, standing individually and alone. I practically ran to the bus that day to make it, but noticed this as I walked towards the station. 8 individual people with their own stories and own lives, standing in their own comfortable spots. I wonder what it would be like if there was a greater sense of community and love between these regular bus riders?

9:00 am: Talk to my first customer of the day. Sometimes when I talk to customers all day, I say the same things over and over and don't completely embrace the opportunity to really love each customer. I tried to be more aware of that today, and show a deeper sense of love and compassion for each customer. To say the least, it was reciprocated.

12:00 pm: Lunchtime. I went to buy a sandwich at a local shop (I promise I don't stop for Starbucks and lunch every day-- I was just completely out of food at my apartment...). The man making my sandwich had his music on so loud that he could hardly hear what sandwich I wanted. So needless to say, it was a little difficult to communicate here.

6:00 pm: Went to change my car battery Spoke to the man taking care of my car and he was a very friendly guy-- just casual conversation "how's the day been going?" etc. As I waited for my car to be fixed, there were three of us sitting in the waiting room. Looking back, this is a time I totally missed an opportunity to embrace community. Each was reading their own magazine, on the phone with someone else, etc, doing their own thing.

7:00 pm: Went to the grocery store. The girl that helped me at the register started saying something and said "man, i sound like a script," I responded telling her I was in a customer service position and sometimes can relate to that, which led to more conversation and a greater sense of love because we could relate to each other.

7:30 pm: Went to Best Buy because my iPod was not working. The man didn't seem like he wanted to talk, but I decided to be that annoying customer and try to talk to him anyways! Like other encounters today, I noticed that when love was shown and love was reciprocated.

---

Evaluation of the Challenge So Far:

-I noticed many encounters in the day where people preferred to keep to themselves. We are very individualistic people (especially as Americans), and tend to shy away from uncomfortable or potentially awkward conversations. Like the man who turned up his music when making the sandwich, which allows a conversation to be avoided all together.

-I also noticed that when I showed a greater love towards others, the love was usually in some way reciprocated... which leads me to another thought that a very close friend made earlier this week in our small group. As we talked about how easy it can be sometimes to love friends, family, those who are closest to us, she asked "if they didn't show love to us, would we still love them back? Would we still reciprocate that love?" So in times that we do not receive love from others, even though it's hard, can we still love them anyways?? Even if love is not given to us, we can ask God to still show us how to deeply love someone even though it seems impossible or difficult. Now it's just the application part that gets hard.

So far-- those are my observations on this new challenge. Good stuff.

On another note, another youth leader and friend, Leah, and myself took a few of our jr. high and high school girls to a conference called Adored, where the focus was on how much each of the girls are adored by God. It was such an incredible weekend, where we were able to grow closer with each other, and to the Lord. I'm overwhelmed by how big God's love is for us-- that He made each of us in His image and loves us just AS WE ARE!

So many times we look for self-worth in worldly things-- success/money, fashion, popularity, the friends we choose, our image, etc., but ultimately, Jesus Christ is the only one who can truly satisfy our hunger eternally.

"No one has ever seen God, but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." - 1 John 4:12

My prayer today is that you too will be overwhelmed by God's love for you, just as you are-- that you will be made complete by His great and unconditional love for you!

Love and Community: A Challenge To Consider

While we’re on the subject of love, here’s another question to think about: What does it mean to live in community with one another? Last night, my small group reflected on this question, and what it means to live in community with people in all areas of our lives, rather than just in the church.

I reflected a little bit on my missions trip to the community of Aguas Negras in the Dominican Republic, and remembered how much I learned from the way they lived life together and in community with each other. There was a sense that everyone watched out for each other, protected one another, and loved in a very self-less way. They all knew everyone’s names, wandered into each other’s homes as if family, and if there was someone in need, they were quick to respond.

As I recalled this, we talked about how that translates to coming back to Denver. Aguas Negras was a small and close-knit community— Denver is huge, with many neighborhoods and people, and hustle and bustle everywhere. So, how do I take the kind of community I was shown in Aguas Negras, to downtown urban Denver?

One of our group members brought up the idea of simplifying our lives. So the first step is prioritizing— what is complicating our lives? What is making it chaotic? Why is it so hard to have community here? Is there anything we can eliminate in our lives to make this easier?

As humans, and especially as Americans, we like to be busy. I am so guilty of that myself. I always want to be on the go, to be doing something, to always have something that is occupying my day and time. I like to plan in advance, and somehow by the time the next week comes around, I find no breaks in my schedule. How does that always seem to happen? What IF, I slowed down? What IF I looked at the busy-ness of my life, and took out a few of those things that make me run around like my head is being cut off? What if instead of trying to fill up my schedule with meetings and events and get-togethers, I tried just the opposite— to NOT completely fill my schedule?

So here’s the first step:
Prioritize. What are some things I can simplify in my life?

And as I re-prioritize, I’m sure I’ll find a few things that just can’t be taken out of my life for one reason or another. Things that must be done. Obvious ones being— taking time to pay the bills, grocery shopping, exercise, sleep-- things that I NEED to do in my life.

So then, for the things that we can't simplify in our life, how do we allow those things to come together with our effort to live a richer communal life?

As we explored these questions together last night, I felt encouraged to search a little bit deeper for a greater sense of community in all aspects of my life as I’m trying to love more deeply— not just in church, but on the things that happen in my life each day— knowing my bus driver’s name, making conversation with the barista at the coffee shop, showing greater love towards others at work, wanting to know people on a greater level than just the “hi”. Being fearless in learning more about people— about strangers, acquaintances, people who are hard for me to love, and knowing the ones I already love on an even deeper level.

So, for the next week, I’m going to challenge myself to search for community in all places and areas of my life, and plan to journal on what that looks like. I plan on journaling what happens in each part of my day, and my attempt to take each of those parts of my life into deeper community. Parts that are comfortable, uncomfortable, challenging, and surprising.

Will you join me, too?

I hope you will join me in this challenge and share your experiences, as we all try to explore a greater sense of community in our lives. Who's in??

What is Love?

What is love? Love's a big word. Sometimes a scary word. But ultimately, God is love and the source of all love. Love is not God, because that would mean we get to make up what it means and twist it around to fit to our beliefs and culture, which are not always biblical. The high school girls in my youth group want to spend the next semester studying Love. I've been searching through Scripture, old notes, past bible studies, sermons, etc. to put together a study on love. It's an interesting and challenging task, but one that is humbling, convicting, and worthy of praise. I thought I might share some of the things I've been reflecting on as I put together this study, and hope that it might help you reflect a little, too.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 defines love-- I'm sure you've heard this verse in weddings, church, and even many who are not Christian are familiar with this Scripture:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

How are we reflecting this definition? How are we loving others? I know I'm not always patient (especially in grocery lines or behind the Sunday cruise drivers), I know I have moments where I am easily angered and respond before I think. So how can I love deeper? Lately a constant prayer of mine has been "Lord, help me to love so deeply, to love others regardless of the cost, and to fall so deeply in love with you that your love is resonated through me to others. Break my heart for what breaks yours and put my heart in such a state that it has no will of its own." It's an ongoing prayer-- because I know I am not close to perfect, that I will always fall short and am a sinner, but it's something that we can always grow in. I know I'm impatient, that I hate standing in lines, that I can get upset when my neighbors play music extra loud, but I also rejoice in knowing that God IS love and that He will show me how to love like Him, even if it means loving my enemies, strangers, and in uncomfortable places and situations.

What does it mean to love so deeply? In this new year, I encourage you to think about this. How can we love deeper? How does our love for others reflect God's definition of what love is, and what can we do better?

So I know I'm not very consistent on this blogging thing...

Okay, so I know I'm not very consistent on this blogging thing. I know I didn't completely follow through the first time, but with a new year, comes a new attempt. Although I don't promise to update this on a daily or weekly basis, I will try and be more consistent with updating it. Now that my service journey is over, my hope is that this blog will be a way for me to show you the things God is teaching me from day-to-day, and that hopefully it will in some way draw you closer to the Lord as well. I hope to continue to share what it means to live a life of service, through things that happen in my life, and by sharing other awesome ministries and missions on this blog so that you might find where it is that God wants to use you, too!

With that being said, I'll start off by saying Happy 2011, and want to share this video with you to think about what it means to reach outside our own little world, outside of our comfort zone, to share the love of Christ with others... enjoy! :)